So long yesterday!

I decided I couldn't post yesterday because there was no way I would have been able to keep up the whole new positive me image. It was just not a great day. I had trouble sleeping the night before because I was anxious about whether or not my period would come, and taking Sara to hoikuen. My sleep wasn't aided at all by little knees and feet in my stomach and back all night, or sudden hair pulling every now and again. It is definitely time to move Sara to her crib. Sleeping in bed with us is just getting way too uncomfortable.

So my period did come. Enough said about that. At least now I know when I see those faint lines that I REALLY shouldn't get my hopes up and once and for all, I SHOULD NOT DO AN HPT UNTIL AF IS AT LEAST A WEEK LATE!!! When is this going to sink in for me? I feel so thick! Waiting is just so damn hard! It's also hard not to freak out about whether or not I can actually get pregnant again. But we shall persevere. As I've said before, at least it's a pleasant process :)

Then the whole Sara and hoikuen business. I dropped her off and she was fine. I knew she would be. She's not the type to freak out right away. It takes her a little while. She's super curious, so I had a feeling that it would happen exactly like the teacher said it did. She wandered around for awhile checking stuff out and taking it all in, and then it hit her that I wasn't around, and there was no mollifying her. She cried and cried until she cried herself to sleep, which is what she was still doing when I got there. Poor bunny.

The time we were apart wasn't all that wonderful for me either. I just gave Sara a little wave goodbye and told her I would be back later. Then got in the car and had a wee cry and off to the belly dance lesson, which was not all that much fun. It was one of those lessons, where the students don't get it, and somehow I feel like they are blaming me for not being able to do it. This lesson is 2 older, as in 10 or so years older than me, ladies, and one of them kept saying, she would buy a hip scarf when she got better, and she would wear something that showed her stomach once she got better. Woman - if I tell you, you need a hip scarf, you NEED a hip scarf. If I tell you you need to show me your stomach, you NEED to show me your stomach. I cannot help you if I can't see how your body is or is not moving. With a baggy T-shirt and baggy sweatpants I have no idea if the way you are moving is even close to what you should be doing, and frankly neither do you since you can't see yourself in the mirror anymore than I can.

This is why I hate teaching English. It doesn't happen through osmosis, or just because you WANT to speak English. You have to practice and study and work at it, and at the very least, if you don't listen to your teacher's advice, it's never going to happen. Okay, well I probably just blew up all the brain cells my positive thoughts over the past few days had nurtured, but I feel like I needed that little rant.

After the lesson I went for Mosburger and actually sat inside the restaurant and ate lunch by myself. It was nice to have a few moments to myself, but nearly as nice as I had previously imagined, and I felt too guilty to really enjoy it. I went to pick up Sara just before 4, took her home, and we both got some really good cuddles in. It didn't take long before Sara was back to her usual self though, perfectly happy to play on her own.

But in the end, I think the events of the day did take some toll on her because she had a super-sized-all-out-nut-out tantrum around 9 because I wouldn't let her play with the salt and pepper shakers while I was trying to eat my dinner. I can't wait until she understands what "This is not a toy" really means. Akinori was kind enough to scarf down what he was eating, and take Sara in the other room, and shove a bottle in her mouth so I could have a few minutes of true peace and quiet. (Your husband looking after your child and a complete stranger looking after your child are two completely different things!) By the time I finished washing the dishes and went back into the living room Sara was knocked out. Poor poor bunny.

I was pretty knocked out from my day too and we were all in bed before midnight, which is literally unheard of in our house. I did manage to write my appreciation diary before going to sleep though. I thought about doing it in the morning, but then I thought better of it. If ever there was a day I needed to go to sleep thinking positive thoughts, it was yesterday.