Just generally pissed off, oh and happy 2nd anniversary

*There may be a lot of swearing in this post, if you're easily offended don't even bother reading

So the morning starts off with me taking my temperature as I have been everyday for the last 2 months or so, because I am now addicted to taking my temperature as well as trying to get pregnant, and it is a wee bit lower than it has been for the last week. The thought that I am not pregnant just puts me in a bad mood from the very start. That and the fact that Sara woke up at 7:30 and refused to go back to sleep. Until sometime last week she was sleeping until 10 or 11 o'clock, letting me have plenty of rest, but all of a sudden she has decided to join the ranks of the civilized and wake up at a reasonable hour. Before giving up on getting Sara to go back to sleep, I took my temperature about 3 more times and it was up then down, then up, so really who the fuck knows whether or not I am pregnant. I am feeling really pre-menstrual though, so I have a feeling I'm going to be getting a visit from Sarah, Sakura and Aunt Flo this weekend. Not happy!

So we go downstairs and I try and feed Sara breakfast. Not happening. She won't sit in her high chair and she won't open her mouth. Great, you're going to starve to death child, and everyone is going to blame me because I'm the mother. She will of course eat akachan senbei (rice crackers for babies) and she is pawing and snatching at the package faster than I can open it, thus crumbling the senbei into little wee bits. Thanks for the mess! I get us dressed because I have decided that from this week we are going back to our Tuesday playgroup (great way to avoid Mrs. X too!). Getting ready to leave the house and notice Sara squatting and getting red around the eyes, which is a sure sign there is poopage. Pull off her pants rather wildly as I'm trying to make her laugh, and a whole shitload of poop (pun intended) sprays all over the place. There is poop all over the inside of her pants, now on her socks, her undershirt onesie and the long-sleeved onesie she was wearing over that. Just lovely! Good thing I decided against the leggings under the pants or there would have been an even bigger mess.

All cleaned up and ready to go. Get to the jidokan and there is only 1 other member of playgroup there with her son. No one else showed up today, and the 1 kid who did show up has to leave within 30 minutes of us getting there so he can go get his flu shot. Just my fucking luck today. But what was even worse was we got there at lunchtime so I bought a bento and thought I would feed Sara some of that, since she only seems to want to eat whatever the grown-ups are eating these days. Sit her down and since she is plenty hungry by now, she is more than happy to eat whatever I put in her mouth. 10 minutes later, it all comes right back out. The damage wasn't too bad. Not a single tear or even whine for that matter, after puking. Her sweater and pants got the brunt of it, and I was able to get most of the yuck out of them. Luckily I decided to put leggings on her when I re-dressed her after the poop fiasco, so I just let her run around in her leggings and onesie since she seemed genki and was dying to be allowed to go play.

Spent two hours at the jidokan chasing Sara and trying to prevent her from taking all the toys off other innocent kids, listening non-stop to "kawaii ne" "yappari gaijin no ko wa chigau ne". Honestly this was the first time that phrase has really bothered me, and maybe it's because I'm so hormonal and all, but I don't want my child being told "wow, foreign kids are obviously different". I know they mean it in a "good way" but it was the first time I really felt that my daughter is going to have to hear how "different" she is for the rest of her life.

Anyway, Sara falls asleep 2 seconds after I put her in the car seat to go home, and I decide she definitely has the right idea, so I forego shopping for cat food, even though we are all out. The cat had a little food left this morning so she can suffer a few more hours without food. We go back home and lay down on the living room floor for a nap. I would love to stay there forever. Am totally not interested in teaching belly dance tonight, but I know I will feel better after I go to the lesson and start moving.

Sara is still sleeping (going on 3 hours now) when Akinori comes home at 5:30 with 1 red rose for me. Today is the 2nd anniversary of our wedding in Hawaii. I still can't believe it was 2 years ago already, or that it was even real. It was such a beautiful wedding, in such a beautiful location. It was my dream wedding. Ah, reality is such a downer, but back to it. So I accept the rose, a quick kiss and "sorry I don't have the money today. It's in the bank, but with my work schedule I won't be able to get it out of the bank until Friday." WTF?! I forgot to mention before that my money unsavvy husband doesn't have a cash card OR bank book for this account, so he has to go to the bank in person and hanko every fucking time he wants to withdraw money, which means he has to get there by 3:00 because that's what time the banks close. Why in the fucking world do banks close at 3:00? Do they not realize that the rest of the country works until at least 5:30? Where is the bloody logic in this? Anyway he tells me he will sleep in the K-truck. It is -5 degrees outside right now. I am obviously not about to let him sleep in the truck, nevermind the fact that it is our anniversary. I really, really hate the fact that this money saga is not yet finished though.

So he drives me to my belly dance lesson and of course I am much happier for having done the lesson, he comes to pick me up after, then we go to get cat food and some home pregnancy tests, which I can't even use yet, but I feel better having them on hand. I don't know why. I am probably just insane and addicted to hpt's too. I am having a lot of trouble being patient and waiting to see if my period comes or not this weekend. We get home and that's when all hell breaks loose over the most stupid shit anyone has ever fought about. But this is what happens when I am hormonal, and in my book when a woman is hormonal men should just shut up and apologize, and pretend to be sincere about it, regardless of the reason. So much time and anger would be saved if he would just cop on to what time of the month it is, or the fact that I am upset about something so stupid it doesn't warrant a serious argument, but he doesn't. He just ends up getting his knickers twisted and being an asshole and pissing me off even more. So I tell him to go sleep in the car.

Of course this is not what I really want, despite everything I've said in my previous 2 posts. I really do not want him to not be in bed with me at night. I just want to teach him a lesson. So he says that regardless of the fight we are currently having he is going to sleep in the car anyway, as he broke his promise to me, and he needs to do a penance to show how sorry he is and that he will mend his evil ways. So now I am forced to apologize for telling him to go sleep in the car during the heat of the moment, which pisses me off even more, because I'm hormonal and that's all the reason I need to be pissed off.

And to top it all off I am currently still meeting Mrs. X for lunch tomorrow. Ugh. Despite Mrs. X tomorrow's got to be a better day right?